Game Brain: A death in the family

We like to delude ourselves with thoughts of “It’ll never happen to me.” I’m no different.

I never thought that my beloved Xbox 360 (“Ol’ Whitey”) would suffer debilitating hardware failure. “That only happens with launch models,” I told myself, “I take better care of my console than most people.”
It doesn’t matter. Hardware failure can strike at any time, caring not for the age of the console or the dedication of its owner. One day, my Xbox 360 stopped playing games … the day that hardware failure invaded my life.

The first symptoms occurred two weeks ago when I was playing “Far Cry 2.” In the middle of the game, everything froze and the display looked like “Space Invaders,” with weird lines and shapes all over.
Hoping that it was a fluke, I restarted the Xbox and played without incident. Then, on Nov. 6, my brother decided to have a go at “Far Cry 2.” The same thing happened to him.

By now I was really getting concerned. My brother claimed that the Xbox gave him an audio/visual cable error, but that didn’t hold water after some troubleshooting. A malfunctioning AV cable wouldn’t freeze the game. I tried the Xbox out on HD and standard definition TV, with and without a hard drive plugged in.

Whether I was playing an arcade game off the hard drive or playing “Gears of War” off the game disc, the same problem kept occurring, usually within a minute after starting the game up. The dashboard feature and everything else was fine.

So, I found myself with game console that can’t play games, for whatever reason. If you remember, there was a big fuss over Xbox 360s getting the “Red Rings of Death,” or RROD. The Rings are an error code that the Xbox uses to tell the owner what’s wrong with it; a translation has to be looked up on the internet. If owners received a particular arrangement of three red lights, it meant that a chip inside had melted, preventing the Xbox from running.

I didn’t get any error codes, just instant death while running a game. Those poor saps with the Red Rings were eligible for an extended warranty where they could send in their console for “repair.” All “repair” meant was they sent you back a refurbish model that failed for possibly the same reason. When I fed my Xbox’s serial number into Microsoft’s Web site, it told me, and I’m paraphrasing here, “No warranty for you!”

My Xbox 360 is a later model than the ones covered by the warranty, so it probably wouldn’t even get the problem with the chip. Still, something else went awry. Since I didn’t purchase an extended warranty, my wallet is at the mercy of the warranty Nazis yet again.

Fortunately, Microsoft is generous enough to offer a replacement service. For about $95 (pre-tax), I can get a pre-paid shipping box to send my old console in and get a refurbished console sent to me. Not wanting to be without my precious console for too long and unwilling to break the bank on a new one, I ponied up the dough.

I’ve heard horror stories about how long and arduous the replacement process has been for some people. Others treat it like an everyday act of God.

“Yeah, dude, my Xbox died once. Got a new in a few weeks. No big deal.”

Slow your roll there, pilgrim. Not a big deal? My console wasn’t even two years old and now it’s a bookend. Do you know how much this thing cost? I have a basement full of obsolete game consoles and computers that are much older and still run fine.

I should be grateful that Microsoft even has a replacement program. I use “replacement program” lightly, because the system I will get back is likely a Frankenstein’s monster of console parts that suffered a similar fate as mine.

Still, I can’t help but feel resentful towards Microsoft for a defective product. Yes, I realize that there’s a lot of sensitive hardware crammed inside that goofy-looking white chassis. And Microsoft makes no guarantees outside of the warranty how long the Xbox 360 will function. But come on! Mine didn’t even live to see its second buyday! Please, take my original Xbox instead! It’s big and ugly and heavy, nobody likes it anymore anyway!

Is bargaining a stage in the grieving process? ‘Cause I think I just hit it.

OK, so maybe I shouldn’t get so worked up over a $300 (retail, not current value) hunk of plastic and metal. But the only reason I purchased the Xbox 360 was for the games. Certainly not because of its design, something you might find in the dumpster outside of wherever Apple’s design department is located.

My mom asked me the other day what I wanted for Christmas this year. I told her that I fancied “Fallout 3” for the Xbox 360. “But isn’t your Xbox dead?” she asked. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean the games expire! I’ll get a new Xbox soon, yeesh,” I said.

So if you’re one of the lucky few Xbox 360 owners whose console is a still-working retail model, you might want to consider buying an extended warranty. Given how often these things croak, it may be a sound investment. As for myself, I just want my baby back in working order. Or maybe that should be “new baby.”
Whatever, just gimme a working Xbox already, I’m getting withdrawal symptoms.

Brian Diefenbach, a copy editor and columnist for the Western Herald, is a junior majoring in imaging. He can be contacted via e-mail at brian.a.diefenbach@wmich.edu. His Xbox Live gamertag is F0RCEFL0W.

Short URL: http://www.westernherald.com/?p=2403

Posted by HeraldAdmin on Nov 19 2008. Filed under Weekend Scene. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

Cody Kimball
Web Manager: I'm a Communication Student at WMU, a SCUBA Diver, Boater, Ordained Minister, Notary Public, Web Designer, Film Maker, DJ, and of course a Journalist. Born and raised in Port Huron, MI and a graduate of SC4. http://www.codykimball.com