Quotes & Comments
When a group of girls are dancing all up on each other all sexy-like, they should expect a man to approach them.
—A 20-year-old male friend of mine said in a conversation.
First off, I know the term “sexy” is subjective, but I can tell you that there is such a thing as women just wanting to dance with each other, without a man.
I love dressing up, tastefully, and going out with my girl friends to clubs and dancing with them, no sexual innuendo involved. Just because we dance with each other doesn’t mean we’re screaming “hey I need a guy,” because to be frank, if we wanted one, we would have brought him.
Yes, there are girls who want and need that attention, best known as that girl with the short skirt grinding on the wall, or some pole, or on a stage.
But I’ll tell you, not all women satisfy their need for life or define their physical attraction by a man hitting on her at a club. It’s actually just nauseating. Truly.
It’s funny how men can justify their lewd behavior in regards to women as if it is our fault, that because of the way we dress, the way we act, we are
“asking for trouble.”
Well in regards to your statement, I have this response.
One out of six American women will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, I guess we as women should just, expect it?
—Ashley Wioskowski
News Editor
Short URL: http://www.westernherald.com/?p=3844
Posted by HeraldAdmin
on Feb 10 2009. Filed under Opinion, Quotes & Comments.
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I totally understand what you are saying. I want to give you a little backgroudn on me. I am a political activist who’s spent a lot of time working with feminists in the Democratic party, I’ve argued strongly for women’s rights issues. I have collected signatures to protect affirmative action. And I agree with just about every word you said.
As a man, can you please give me some guidance on this issue. I want your help.
How are we to tell which women want to be approached and which ones don’t?
I hope you don’t pile me in with whoever said that original comment. I am really trying to get help for me and other men here.
Women almost never approach men for flirting, it’s sad but true. I wish more women would do so, but it appears that lingering sexism is still there in women’s minds as well as in men. We men are expected to make the first move, and that can actually be a lot of unpleasant pressure, more than you would believe. If we did not do this we would never be able to have relationships. We’d be lost and lonely if we never approached at least someone, because no one ever approaches us.
So one the one hand, we are always expected to magically know which women want to meet us, and approach them. And on the other hand, we are magically expected to know which women don’t want to be approached and then not approach them.
Please do not throw me into a larger category of “men justify their actons” and “date rape” etc… I understand and respect your point, and the horrible things that too often happen to young women are intolerable and I will fight against them. But the men of this world are not one giant group who all think the same things and have the same opinions. I am not your friend who said this. I am a human being, just like you are. And I am asking a serious question that many of us would like a serious answer to.
Men are not given any guidance of what you DO want us to do in your column, we are only told what you DON’T want us to do.
Please give us some guidance on how to solve this problem that you bring up in your piece. Some women in a club do want to be approached and others don’t. Unfortunately the 2 groups seem to seem to be dancing the same, dressing the same and acting the same making eye contact the same… We are not mind readers, we can’t tell them apart. So what do you want us to do?
Dave Chapelle said it best “you may not be a ho, but you’re wearing the uniform”
I want to make it clear. I did not say that.
That Dave Chapelle thing has nothing to do with my comment, I was asking a real question and I hope to get an answer.
Ashley? Are you going to answer my question? I apologize if I was unclear above, what I wrote was not a rhetorical question, in was a direct quetsion I asked to you specifically. I was hoping for an answer.
Does anyone even read these? Hello? lol
William, if it’s not rhetorical then I assume that means you have been club-hopping trying to meet girls. Maybe it’s confusing which ones want attention and maybe its not, but I’d say meeting girls at clubs and bars isn’t real classy anyway. Maybe you should try meeting someone at your feminist meetings or whatever you were talking about.
Will the only response I have is that you shouldn’t pick up girls at bars or clubs.
Ashley, are you honestly telling me that you do not think any men and should ever meet at any women at clubs?
That is one of the main reasons people go out, to meet people. And often the people who meet flirt. Allowing men and women to meet is one of the big reasons clubs even exist.
I have tried incredibly hard to be respectful to you here, I hope you have noticed that. I originally asked for a clarification of what you wanted men to do in your original “quotes and comments section.”
If you are telling me that your clarification of your original statement is that: you want men to stop going to clubs and meeting women entirely., if that is what you want…
…that is unreasonable.
As for Travis, I do not really care if you think I am “classy” or not. I have a right to go out to clubs if I want to. If you don’t like it, fine, learn to live with it.
Your passing judgment on me for going to clubs is really not that different from the previous comment about women wearing “ho’s uniform.” When people go out they have a right not to be called a slut or a ho or trashy or not classy. And that is true whether they are a man or a woman.
You told me what you thought I should maybe do, so I humbly respond with a suggestion of my own. Maybe you should stop judging other people.
Ahhh! typos are so annoying! I having been writing these quickly because I have a million things on my schedule.
They’re coming out a mess!
lol
Is there any way to edit these?
Sorry Rolan,d but that’s simply not true.
Many people in this world, (both women and men) enjoy flirting. It happens all the time, in many places. That includes clubs.