Seven tips for dealing with roommates

By Ashley Wioskowski
Editor in chief

The best college horror stories can come from tribulations of dealing with roommates. One day you’re roommate can be your best friend; the next minute, you’re contacting a lawyer.

But roommates do not have to be the worst thing about college and they shouldn’t. Home is supposed to be your sanctuary, and in order to keep it that way, you’re going to have to master conflict management, or how to avoid a disaster in the first place.
1. Assess the situation: friend vs. stranger

If you’re going in blind into a house, dorm or an apartment, you must consider whomever it is that you’re living with.

Stranger: It’s going to be helpful to learn about this person in order to create a harmonious living environment. Maybe make a list of your likes and dislikes so you can understand each other better. Maybe this person is a neat freak, maybe they work early in the morning, or maybe they do not drink alcohol. Understanding what kind of people you are, and establishing boundaries beforehand will help avoid collisions later in your living situation.

Friend: This person may be your best friend forever since third grade, but give it three months and you’ll be clicking the “block” button on Facebook. When it comes to living with your friend, you need establish open communication. Living together takes as much effort as maintaining the friendship, so be open when things are bugging you. Make sure this person is someone you can handle for the specific amount of time your lease is. And while not everything about that person can annoy to the point of insanity, make sure the things that do bug you, are things you can live with. Literally.
2. Bills

If on the side of misfortune problems do start to rise and there are bills to be paid, it’s always helpful to split the bills up in each roommate’s names. That way, there isn’t one person who can tap dance their way out of the situation. In addition, it’s always beneficial to have everyone’s name on the lease. This way if any legal action needs to be taken, you’ll be in a better place.
3. Share responsibility

If you’re going to share groceries, establish what is or isn’t up for grabs. Keep a special cupboard for stuff you’re not willing to share with others. The same goes with hair products, clothes, or any other more personal items

Also, when it comes to certain community products for example, toilet paper or cat food, try to establish a system for who buys what when.

Make a chore list for different areas of the house. It’s exhausting and annoying for roommate to always be doing dishes while the other sits around. Or clean the bathroom, living room, etc. If all parties are using it, all parties should be taking care of it.

4. Open communication

When a problem arises, face it head on. Don’t tweet about it, make some clever innuendo on your status or tell everyone around you but your roommate. If you think you’re roommate is not doing their fair share around the living quarters, tell them! If they’re too loud when you’re trying to sleep or you’re over coming home to a big party every night, let your roommate know. You cannot come to a solution if the other person does not know there is a problem. If you just become hostile and rude, they’ll just do the same, and it will probably make you feel worse.
5. Significant others

This goes the same for significant others. If your roommate’s boyfriend walks around in his boxers all day and eats your cereal while she’s out at work, tell her. If your roommate’s girlfriend is sitting in his lap and kissing on him when the three of you are watching a movie, let him know it’s bothering you. The only thing worst than a bum roommate is their bum significant other who may not even be helping out with rent.
6. Pets

Pets can also be the cause of a hostile living environment. If your roommate refuses to clean the liter box located in your bathroom, or forgets to put their dog in the kennel knowing very well Rufus really likes the taste of the cushions to your brand new couch, something needs to be said. If your roommate says they cannot live without their pet, you need to make sure it is a pet you can live with and the ground rules have been set. A pet can result in a very expensive payment to the landlord in the end, so it’s a very a big responsibility.
7. Establish some sort of bond

It’s always helpful to establish some sort of one-on-one time with your roommate in order to keep your living quarters a more harmonious place. You’re going to feel uncomfortable discussing issues if you have not bonded on some level. So whether it’s reserving time once a week to watch “The Office”, having lunch once a week or having a 10-minute chat every week to catch up briefly, it can be beneficial. It can make your living situation a much more harmonious place.

While the best lessons are learned from experience, nothing can feel more stressful than knowing at the end of the day you’d rather be anywhere but home. Home should be a place to hide, relax or just be. So be careful and considerate when dealing with your roommate(s).

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Posted by heraldstaff on Mar 17 2010. Filed under Living Guide. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can leave a response or trackback to this entry

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